The Disease To Please

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• Disease To Please: Why pleasing everyone doesn’t work…

• Did you know? House plants lower blood pressure…

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The Disease To Please

“Lean too much on other people’s approval and it becomes a bed of thorns.” ~Hsieh Tehyi

Let’s be honest with each other.

You’re a people-pleaser

So am I.

And so is the man next door, Oprah, and the President of the United States.

Everyone has a tendency to please others. And it's alright. As basic as the need for food and shelter is the need to be liked and accepted.

It’s when you try to please everyone that it becomes a problem. Actually, it's a disease rather than just a problem. It was dubbed “the disease to please” by Harriet B. Braiker.

Why Trying to Please Everyone Doesn’t Work

1. You attract people less.

Anyone who had the courage to be authentically oneself in public has always inspired me. But all too quickly that admiration would turn to adulation. I discovered that I was always the eager puppy at their heels, never challenging them and always following their lead.

One phrase stuck out to me the most when I examined how they truly perceived me objectively: weak. It was not surprising that they were courteous but consistently chose to hang out with other strong individuals because strong people like to be around other strong people.

2. You love yourself less.

Because those very people you wanted to admire, respect, and love you now reject you, you tell yourself that you cannot be a lovable person. You start acting more and more people-pleaser out of desperation, which starts a terrible downward spiral.

With every people-pleasing deed, the distance between your actual behavior and your desired behavior grows. This leaves you feeling disappointed and ashamed of who you have become.

3. You become more manipulative.

I used to become irritated when a friend or coworker asked for one more favor after another. They appeared to be taking advantage of me and manipulating me. Boy, that was hurtful.

But you know, once I’d looked logically at the way they treated me, I realized it was more down to the way I’d treated them. My guidelines would govern how they were to behave with me. I’d been the one to say, “Hey, that’s absolutely okay, go ahead.”

Truth be told, I had been the one manipulating all along. Gosh!

4. You’re seen as less trustworthy.

Although it may seem well-meaning to always agree or say the "right thing," covering up what you believe to be false isn't telling the whole truth. Furthermore, when we suspect someone is lying, as human beings we get warning signals.

It might seem like just a little white lie to flatter someone’s ego, but would you trust someone who only ever told you what you wanted to hear? Someone who hid their true feelings?

5. You end up with less confidence.

People find you untrustworthy because you only tell them what they want to hear, so they are hesitant to confide in you. As a result, you can never be sure what they are truly thinking, which makes you feel less comfortable approaching them.

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CRYSTAL OF THE DAY

DID YOU KNOW?

HOUSEPLANTS REDUCE STRESS

Did you know that people who work in an environment surrounded by plants felt more relaxed and had lower blood pressure? Studies show that having plants is a great boost for comfort and remaining focused.

YOGAPEDIA
Extended Puppy Pose (Uttana Shishosana)

What is Extended Puppy Pose?

Extended puppy pose, or uttana shishosana in Sanskrit, gives a deep stretch to the spine. With the knees on the floor and hips lifted, the yogi walks the hands forward and lowers the chest toward the floor.

Instructions

• Begin in tabletop pose with the knees hip distance wide.

• Exhale and walk the hands far forward, keeping them shoulder distance wide. Keep the hips over the knees.

• Release the chest toward the floor. If possible, rest the forehead on the floor.

• Breathe while holding the pose.

MEME