Get Through Hard Times

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WEEKEND TEACHING
8 Tips to Remember When You’re at Your Lowest

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.” ~Haruki Marukami

1. Your suffering is not your fault.

It is impossible to minimize or reframe your deep loss. When the pain comes in waves, all you can do is listen to yourself, love yourself, and trust that it will pass. Try not to hold yourself responsible for these unpleasant emotions. They are a healthy response to real tragedies. You didn't need to get better because there was nothing you could have done to stop this.

2. There is no shame in being unwell.

Although you have experienced hurt, you are not broken. You are whole and fully yourself. Healing won't require any effort on your part; it will take place naturally. It's acceptable to request assistance. This is a necessary step in the process of regaining autonomy. You won't always feel helpless. Recall how strong you have grown and how much you have already healed.

3. It’s okay to find sources of distraction.

It is acceptable for you to feel joy; it does not imply that you have forgotten your losses. Setting priorities for yourself and attending to your most basic needs and wants is acceptable. You have put in a great deal of effort to look after other people, plan for the future, and act morally. This is the moment, if ever there was one, to let go of obligations.

4. You do not have to be brave.

It's okay to feel helpless and terrified, furious and bitter, or small-minded and self-indulgent. You can be who you are right now, whatever that may be. It is enough to simply make it through the day, to feed yourself or ask for time off work (please ask for time off work!) It's acceptable to embrace your shadow sides and to be contradictory and complex.

5. There is nothing wrong with being alone.

It takes a lot of energy to pretend everything is OK in front of people, but it also takes bravery to talk about your troubles. You might be let down by certain folks. While most people are ill-equipped to deal with sorrow, everyone has something special to offer. While some will hold your hand or serve as a distraction, others will reassure you that you are not alone. These are presents that you can find at your own pace.

6. You don’t need to be rational, and you don’t need to have faith either.

However, you can gradually approach all comforts, from a hot chocolate cup or a nap in the afternoon to the ethereal consolation of dreams. You can see loved ones cradling you in their arms or spirits tending to you in your hour of need. Imagine traveling to a stunning location. Remain open to mysterious and everyday sources of joy.

7. You will discover gifts that you never knew existed.

Your capacity for self-advocacy can transform overwhelm and tiredness into relaxation and rest. Your ability to be grateful might serve as a reminder of all the positive aspects of your life and body. Your sense of humor can reveal absurdity in even the darkest moments. By making use of these resources, you'll be more equipped to handle adversity down the road.

8. Every end is a new beginning.

New hopes will emerge where old ones have ended. Embrace a hope that inspires eager expectation rather than one that is conditional on a particular result. The script of your life is unwritten and filled with potential. Although the unknown can be frightening, magic and mystery can also be found there. Keep your mind open to novel experiences and the prospect of a glorious future.

DEAL OF THE DAY
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CRYSTAL OF THE DAY

TIP OF THE DAY

Engage in random acts of kindness

Find ways to perform small, random acts of kindness during your day. These acts can be incredibly simple, from complimenting a stranger at the grocery store on his or her shirt to making your spouse coffee before work to engaging a co-worker you don't usually talk with in a friendly Zoom chat.

Deliberately performing random acts of kindness can make you feel happier and less depressed and anxious, according to a series of studies from Sonja Lyubomirsky at UC Riverside. Varying those acts you do for others has a longer-term effect on your own happiness.

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

Witches call it spells.
Christians call it prayer.
Spiritualists call it manifestation.
Atheists call it the placebo effect.
Scientists call it quantum physics.
Everyone’s arguing over its name.
No one is denying its existence.

MEME