The Validation Detox

In Today's Email:

• The Validation Detox: I Quit Seeking Approval for 30 Days…

• Crystal Of The Day: See below…

• Thought of the day: Discover below...

IMAGE OF THE DAY

TODAY'S LEARNING
The Validation Detox: I Quit Seeking Approval for 30 Days

It started with a notification. Another like, another fleeting dopamine hit that somehow still left me feeling empty. I found myself checking my phone 86 times in a single day (yes, I counted), most often after posting something online or sending a message that ended with "What do you think?"

That's when I realized: I had become addicted to validation.

The Challenge

So I set myself a challenge: 30 days without seeking external approval. The rules were simple but daunting:

• No asking "What do you think?" after sharing ideas

• No checking social media metrics (likes, comments, shares)

• No fishing for compliments

• No changing my opinions based on others' reactions

• No seeking permission for decisions I could make myself

It sounded straightforward. It wasn't.

Week One: The Withdrawal

The first week was brutal. I caught myself reaching for my phone automatically after sharing thoughts in meetings. My fingers twitched to add "Does that make sense?" to emails. I drafted and deleted three social media posts because I realized I was crafting them for likes, not expression.

My journal entry from day 5: "I feel strangely untethered, like I'm floating through space without gravity. How do I know if my ideas are good if no one tells me?"

Week Two: The Identity Crisis

By week two, a deeper question emerged: If I'm not being validated by others, who am I?

Without the constant feedback loop of external approval, I had to confront what I actually thought about myself. It was unsettling to discover how much of my self-image was outsourced to others' opinions.

I started making small decisions without consultation—from what to eat for dinner to which project to prioritize at work. Each choice felt simultaneously terrifying and liberating.

Week Three: The Recalibration

Something shifted in the third week. I noticed my thoughts becoming clearer, less clouded by anticipating reactions. I began to recognize my own internal barometer for value.

After presenting an idea in a meeting without following up with "What do you think?", my colleague approached me later: "You seemed really confident today. It was compelling."

The irony wasn't lost on me: the less I sought approval, the more naturally it came.

Week Four: The Liberation

In the final week, I felt a new kind of strength emerging. I declined an invitation I would normally have accepted out of obligation. I published an article without checking the view count. I made a career decision based on my values rather than what would impress others.

My last journal entry read: "I've been carrying around a heavy backpack of others' expectations without realizing it. Setting it down feels like learning to fly."

The Surprising Results

I expected this experiment to make me more independent. What I didn't expect:

1. Better relationships. Without the validation-seeking dynamic, my interactions became more authentic. People responded to this authenticity with greater openness.

2. Clearer thinking. When you're not constantly adjusting your thoughts for approval, your mind works with remarkable clarity.

3. Energy surge. The mental energy previously spent on approval-seeking was now available for creativity and presence.

4. Stronger intuition. Like a muscle that had atrophied from disuse, my inner guidance system strengthened once I started listening to it.

5. More respect. Counterintuitively, people respected my opinions more when I wasn't seeking their validation of them.

The Ongoing Practice

Have I sworn off external feedback forever? Of course not. Thoughtful input from others remains valuable. But there's a profound difference between seeking feedback for growth and seeking approval for worth.

One month later, I still catch myself slipping into old patterns occasionally. The difference is that now I recognize the hollow feeling that comes with external validation compared to the solid foundation of self-trust.

If you find yourself constantly seeking others' approval, I challenge you to try your own validation detox—even for a day. You might be surprised by the person you discover when you're not looking at yourself through others' eyes.

Because the most powerful validation, it turns out, is the kind no one else can give you.

DEAL OF THE DAY
Self-Esteem & Self-Worth Bundle

Limited Time: The deal expires in 60 hours.

Today's Deal: Get 80% OFF - Self-Esteem & Self-Worth Bundle

About: Nurture your self-esteem and cultivate a strong sense of self-worth with this comprehensive Self-Worth and Self-Esteem mental health bundle. Packed with resources, tools, and guidance, this bundle is designed to support your journey toward building a positive self-image and embracing your inherent value. From self-reflection exercises to empowering affirmations, this bundle offers a holistic approach to boost your self-esteem, foster self-acceptance, and enhance your overall mental well-being. Invest in your self-esteem and self-worth with this transformative bundle and embark on a path of self-discovery and personal growth.

TOGETHER WITH LUMEN
Unlock the Power of Your Metabolism

Did you know metabolism is at the core of every process in your body? From the steps you take to the energy you feel, it’s your body’s engine. Lumen helps you breathe into better metabolic health by giving you personalized insights into your metabolism.
Whether your goal is weight management, improved athletic performance, or enhanced energy and longevity, Lumen empowers you to make smarter, data-driven decisions that optimize your health. Lumen helps you optimize your health and stick to your wellness goals with personalized guidance and actionable tips. Whether you’re preparing meals or planning workouts, Lumen gives you the tools you need to succeed.

CRYSTAL OF THE DAY

POSITIVE NEWS OF THE DAY

Mice Discovered Giving ‘First Aid’ to Unconscious Mates in Surprising Display of Empathy

THOUGHT OF THE DAY

Confidence is not the absence of doubt, but the decision to move forward despite it. Like a lighthouse that stands firm against crashing waves, true confidence isn't about never feeling uncertain—it's about maintaining your direction even when the waters around you are turbulent.

MEME