You're Killing Your Relationships

In partnership with

Hello

In Today's Email:

• How People Pleasing is Secretly Damaging Your Closest Relationships…

• Zen Story: "It Will Pass"…

• Yogapedia: Reclining Hero Pose…

IMAGE OF THE DAY

TODAY'S LEARNING
How People Pleasing is Secretly Damaging Your Closest Relationships

Sarah always said yes. When her sister needed last-minute babysitting, when her partner wanted to skip the movie she'd been excited about, when her best friend asked her to lie to cover up another mistake. She thought she was being a good person, maintaining harmony, showing love through accommodation.

What Sarah didn't realize was that her people pleasing was slowly eroding the very relationships she was trying to protect.

The Hidden Costs of Constant Agreement

People pleasing feels like love in action, but it often creates the opposite of what we intend. When we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own truth, we rob our relationships of three essential elements: authenticity, trust, and genuine intimacy.

Authenticity becomes impossible when you're constantly shape-shifting to match what you think others want to hear. Your loved ones start relating to a version of you that doesn't really exist. They fall in love with your agreeableness, not your actual thoughts, preferences, and boundaries.

Trust erodes gradually because people sense when someone isn't being genuine, even if they can't articulate why. Your family and friends may start feeling like they're walking on eggshells, never quite sure what you really think or want.

Intimacy requires vulnerability, and vulnerability requires showing up as your real self—including the parts that might disappoint or disagree.

The Resentment Trap

Perhaps the most damaging aspect of chronic people pleasing is the resentment that builds over time. When you consistently say yes when you mean no, you start keeping an invisible scorecard of all the times you've sacrificed for others. This ledger becomes a source of quiet anger that seeps into your interactions.

You might find yourself giving passive-aggressive responses, feeling bitter when others don't reciprocate your level of accommodation, or exploding unexpectedly over small issues because you've been suppressing bigger ones for months.

Your loved ones, meanwhile, have no idea they're in debt on a scorecard they never agreed to. They're left confused by your sudden coldness or anger over seemingly minor requests.

How to Love Without Losing Yourself

Breaking the people pleasing pattern doesn't mean becoming selfish or uncaring. It means learning to show up authentically in your relationships, which actually creates space for deeper connection.

Start with small truths. Instead of automatically agreeing to dinner plans, try: "Let me check my energy level and get back to you." This gives you space to assess what you actually want.

Practice expressing preferences. Begin with low-stakes situations. Instead of "I don't care, whatever you want," try "I'm in the mood for Italian tonight, but I'm open to other ideas too."

Reframe boundaries as gifts. When you clearly communicate your limits, you're actually giving your loved ones valuable information about how to be in relationship with you successfully.

Accept that some people won't like the real you. This is painful but necessary. The people who truly love you will appreciate knowing where you actually stand, even when it's inconvenient.

The Paradox of Authentic Relationships

Here's what people pleasers often don't realize: the relationships that can't handle your authentic self aren't worth preserving in their current form. When you start showing up honestly, some connections will strengthen dramatically while others may fade.

This isn't failure—it's clarity. You're no longer investing energy in relationships that require you to be smaller than you are.

The people who stay, who appreciate your honesty even when it's uncomfortable, who respect your boundaries even when it means they don't get their way—these are your people. These are the relationships worth nurturing.

Sarah learned this the hard way when she finally told her sister she couldn't be the on-call babysitter anymore. Her sister was initially angry, but eventually admitted she'd been taking advantage. Their relationship became more balanced and honest.

When Sarah started expressing her movie preferences to her partner, they discovered shared interests they'd never explored because she'd always deferred to his choices. Their connection deepened.

The Courage to Be Disliked

The path away from people pleasing requires what psychologist Alfred Adler called "the courage to be disliked." It means accepting that you can't control how others respond to your authenticity, and that their disappointment or anger doesn't mean you've done something wrong.

Real love—the kind that lasts and nourishes—isn't built on endless accommodation. It's built on two whole people choosing to be together, boundaries and all.

Your closest relationships deserve the gift of the real you. Even when that real you sometimes says no.

DEAL OF THE DAY
Understanding & Stopping People-Pleasing Workbook

Limited Time: This deal expires in 60 hours.

Today's Deal: Get 80% Off- People Pleasing People

About: In this transformative workbook, you’ll go beyond simply identifying your people-pleasing habits—you’ll learn to understand where they come from, why they formed, and how to reshape them for lasting change. Through comprehensive worksheets and in-depth self-assessments, you’ll uncover the underlying beliefs that drive your need for approval, while thought-provoking journaling prompts help you reframe old patterns into healthier, more empowering choices.

By engaging with these practical tools and guided exercises, you’ll not only recognize how people-pleasing once served you, but also discover how to let go of its harmful effects. This proven process enables you to establish personal boundaries, honor your needs, and step confidently into a more authentic, fulfilling life—one guided by your own values and desires, rather than the expectations of others. Whether you’re just beginning your journey or looking to refine the work you’ve already done, this workbook will be your trusted companion toward lasting self-respect, freedom, and emotional well-being.

TOGETHER WITH HUEL

You’re doing breakfast wrong

Let’s face it—most breakfast options just don’t cut it.

Toast? Too light. Cereal? Mostly sugar. Skipping it altogether? Not ideal.

If you want real fuel to power your day, it’s time to upgrade to Huel Black Edition. This ready-in-seconds shake is packed with 40g of plant-based protein, 27 essential vitamins & minerals, and 0 artificial sweeteners—just science-backed nutrition to support your muscles, digestion, and more.

Oh, and did we mention? It’s delicious.

Right now, first-time customers get 15% off, plus a free t-shirt and shaker with code HUELSPRING, for orders over $75.

Find your fuel

*Please support our sponsors. They help keep Karma Gaia free!

TODAY'S POSITIVE NEWS

Trees Can Warn Us When Volcanos Are Ready to Erupt–and NASA Satellites Can Read Their Signals

Scientists from the Smithsonian Institute and NASA have developed an innovative approach to volcanic eruption prediction by monitoring tree behavior around active volcanoes. Before eruptions occur, rising magma releases carbon dioxide that makes nearby trees greener and more vibrant - a change that can be detected by satellites like NASA's Orbiting Carbon Observatory 2 and Landsat 8, serving as an early proxy for harder-to-detect CO2 emissions. This method has already shown promise, with researchers successfully correlating tree greening around Italy's Mount Etna with volcanic activity, and similar monitoring helped predict the eruption of Mayon Volcano in the Philippines, enabling mass evacuations that resulted in zero casualties. The collaboration represents a significant advancement for the 10% of the global population living near dangerous volcanoes, offering a safer alternative to direct volcanic monitoring in remote and hostile terrain, while also providing valuable insights into how trees might respond to increased atmospheric CO2 levels in the context of climate change.

ZEN STORY
"It Will Pass"

A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"

"It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!'

"It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.

What it means:

This simple story captures one of life's most fundamental truths that we often forget in our daily struggles and celebrations. Whether we're experiencing our darkest moments or our highest peaks, both states are temporary. The story reminds us not to get too attached to either our suffering or our joy, because everything in life is impermanent. When we're going through difficult times, this perspective offers comfort and hope - the pain won't last forever. When we're riding high, it keeps us humble and present rather than clinging desperately to fleeting happiness. The real wisdom lies in accepting both the storms and the sunshine with equanimity, knowing that this too shall pass, whatever "this" might be.

CRYSTAL OF THE DAY

YOGAPEDIA
Reclining Hero Pose (Supta Virasana)

What is Reclining Hero Pose?

Reclining hero pose, or supta virasana, is a more advanced version of hero pose. From hero, the yogi reclines onto their back and holds opposite elbows over the head. This pose is good for stretching the abdominal organs.

Instructions

• Begin by kneeling and separating your feet as wide as your hips.

• Exhale and lower your bottom in between your calves.

• On the next exhalation recline back, lowering your head and back to the floor.

• Inhale and reach your arms overhead. Grasp opposite elbows.

• Breathe while holding the pose.

DAILY MEME